Lonely

Well, I just needed to get this off my chest, voice how I am feeling so it doesn't cripple me inside anymore.

I am lonely.

I have moved to a brand new state, and I know zero people. Recently there was a huge blow out with my 'family' that has been coming for years, and so now I have zero family members, and hubby is always working. Like, ALWAYS!

I have my children, of course. But sometimes all I wish for, is someone to invite me over for a coffee and a chat. A grown up chat! Not about child 1 wants a blue cup, but child 2 is already using the blue cup.

I was hoping that when the kids started school, I would be able to blend in to other mums conversations, and make some new friends. But I have found this difficult. I have gone so shy! I mean, I have never been not shy, but I have never been THIS shy. I am struggling. I need adult interaction, I miss my husband, and I miss my mum. She was always there for me to talk to. Now she has gone, there is no one. I have no confidant, I have no vent, hubby doesn't want to hear it after his long days, and I don't blame him, and try not to bother him with it. But it's becoming a plain old fact, that I am lonely. My soul aches for all I have lost. My heart aches for the love of something not there anymore. And my head aches from having to deal with children who are coping with loss and change as well.

This is my rant, and I don't mean to offend anyone, I love each and every one of you who follow me, and takes the time to comment and help me when I need it. But sometimes, a face to face conversation is worth a million likes.

Guest Post from The Simple Mummy

Hi, I’m the simple mummy.

Tiffany asked me if I wanted to do a guest blog and I have to tell you I was a little excited and nervous at the same time. I’m a young mum like Tiff, I have 3 young boys and I’m currently baking number 4 (I wondered why she wasn’t crazy trying to survive four kids, and now I’m trying to do the same).

Raising children it a great life experience and sometimes it can prove to be a hard task, I mean bills come in, school fees a due, someone loses a jumper in the middle of winter and before you know it you could slammed with an unexpected turn of events.

It happens all the time, and every time we’re never prepared for it. No matter what your age or how many kids you have we all end up with a ‘rough’time at some point.

A shake up it the family household can affect everyone even the littlest members of your family. It can be rough, depending how long your circumstances need to change for so how do you help your family through these times?

It’s simple, practice.

I know your thinking is she mad; I don’t want to practice sending my family through a stressful time. Often we don’t think simple exercises can help our families. Trial this impossible task for a week, see what you can learn as a family by living like you have no money.

You can avoid shops, schedule some family activities that just involve being together (dust off an old family board game), learn to decline offers or sales because you probably don’t need anything, re-evaluate items in your cupboards, garage or spare rooms. Sell off what you haven’t used within 12 months and learn to appreciate the things you have and utilise it.

See how you go, all spending a week at home away from shops, bake together, laugh together and spend no money. Educate yourself on what you can accomplish with no money so when you’re struck with such financial stress you can nip it in the butt and turn that negative family experience into a great bonding time.

It’s not a bad thing to survive financial chaos; it’s a building block in your life. It shows how hard you and your family can work to achieve great success. If you don’t have an emergency fund, start now.

Even if you’re chucking your spare change into tin, keep it there. Try taking a couple of dollars out of your pay straight away and putting it in another account, or if you’re afraid another account will attract your own interest in spending it take $5 a week aside and put it in an envelope. Keep it somewhere safe; away from every member of the family so just you know where it is. Back in the day I taped my emergency fund to the roof of my wardrobe, every day my husband hung up our clothes and never noticed that little envelope but it always saved the day when we thought we had nothing.

Life throws everyone a hard ball we just have to figure out a way to catch it. Trailing mini exercises of restraint might not be your idea of a great family activity but it’s great to help you prepare for such an event. Who knows try a week or two here and there and you could free up some cash to put towards a family activity together or just save in for a just in case emergency fund. I’m in the middle of my own trial ‘No spend month’ in preparation for the Christmas period, every dollar my family saves we’re putting it towards things that are eating up our income right now. You would be surprised with how much money you could potentially save with a simple exercise of pretending you have no money. All the best with your financial journey, don’t forget to check out my blog or Facebook page.

Mini m&m cookies!!

Ingredients:

- 60g butter, softened
- 1/3 cup caster sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
-  1/2 tablespoons oil
- 3/4 cup Self Raising flour
- m & m minis

Method:

- Preheat oven to 200, or 180 fan-forced. Line baking tray.

- Using an electric mixer, beat butter, sugar, and vanilla until fluffy (around 3 minutes)

- Add oil and flour and stir with a wooden spoon until a soft dough forms

- Use 1 teaspoon at a time, roll into balls, put on the tray, and flatten slightly.

- Then go nuts, I gave the kids sprinkles and mini m&m's in paper cupcake Patty's, and let them do their thing.

- Bake for around 10-15 minutes, depending on your oven and if you like them softer or crunchier.



                                                                    -OR-

100 COOKIE RECIPE!!

I didn't have the condensed milk on hand which is why I didn't do these ones, but I usually do.


Ingredients:

- 500g butter
- 1/2 cup sugar
- 5 cups Self Raising flour
- 1 can condensed milk

Method:

- Using electric mixer beat the butter and sugar and condensed milk

- Using a wooden spoon, add the flour and stir to combine (sometimes just add a cup less, then see how the consistency works for you)

- Then go nuts again, decorate with what you like, add Milo, choc chips, sultanas, whatever you like. You can divide the mixture into batches and freeze so you can make them when you want them.

- Roll into balls, or do that first then decorate, up to you, its very versatile. Flatten and leave spreading room.

- Bake 10 - 15 minutes, depending on your oven and crunchiness preference.

- Enjoy!

A new start, for ME!

Today I have a Dr's appointment to get some Champix to quit smoking. I did this once before and it worked a treat, but then my mum got sick and eventually passed away. There was no way I could keep it up through all that stress and grief.

I know Mum would want me to stop. She was a smoker too, and is contributed to her death. Not the cause, but it did kick in. So I am going to make sure that it wont happen to me. I fuss over my children's health all the time, forcing down vegetables, and making sure they have their daily Vitamin C etc. But I never take that much effort with my own health. So I have decided to make this change. For ME!

I have also decided to start back on the Tony Ferguson Weight Loss plan. I was doing this at the same time, and it was working well too. So I am going to give it another shot. I want to look good, and feel good. Now we are living in QLD, I have to make sure I am beach and water theme park ready right? LOL.

Anyway,I thought I would Blog about my progress on here not only as a sort of 'online diary' for myself, but I thought maybe if anyone else wanted to join me in this, we could create a nice little support group for each other. This could be quitting smoking, loosing weight, quitting coffee (is that possible!???) anything YOU want to achieve for YOURSELF!

If you want to join in, leave what you are trying to achieve in the comments section below, and we can all support each other in this quest.

Best of luck ladies! (and gentlemen if there are any that follow me....?)

Strike Vs Mother Guilt

OK, so this morning on my Face Book page I started ranting and whinging about how I have to pick up after my Hubby, often more then I have to pick up after my 4 children! I feel bad about whinging about my hubby, he works his butt off, I know this, he is often up and out of the house around 5.30am, and doesn't get home until around 6pm, often later. This leaves me the entire day to look after our children.

I hate having to put his clothes away, and clean up all his messes. If I ask him to do it, he gets stroppy and often accuses me of nagging. I try hard not to nag. I love him and respect what he does to provide for our family.

So I am curious, where is the line? I work just as many, if not more, hours then he does. I don't get a lunch break where I can sit and sit my meal that has been pre-pared for me by someone else (yup, I even make his lunches the night before), without interruption, I can't even go to the loo by myself LOL. I try my best to be the best 'Housewife' I can be without converting to 1950's mode. (Although I am quite fond of some things from back then). There is always a hot meal on the table for him, his bed is always made, snacks are ready and on demand in the fridge/pantry, I am happy to wash, dry and fold his clothes. But how can I teach our children responsibilities when they see me doing everything for someone else. It's up to me to teach the boys that women are not objects to be ready at there beck and call, and for my daughter to learn about equality between women and men ion the workplace AND at home. Just because I am an at home mother, does NOT mean I am a stepford wife. I budget, I meal plan, I pinch every hard earned penny that he makes in order to afford the things we want and need. I work my arse off!!

I deserve more respect then to assume I will put his shoes away, that I will put his clothes away, that I will take out his plate, cutlery and cup to sink in the morning, instead of taking the 2 minutes to do it himself. How do us women juggle all of this stress, pressure and assumptions upon us? The fact is a lot of us don't. I know personally I have had to battle minor bouts of depression brought on by stress. But my worst enemy is my anxiety. I get anxious about a lot. I thought hub would understand when I get these bouts as he suffers from Bi-Polar (there is another thing I take care of, but I don't mind this one, I have to watch him a lot, gauge his moods, watch his medication intake, and check scripts, make Dr appointments, and stay on top of mood fluctuations) but I don't get the same type of treatment back. If I get a bit of anxiety I'm told to get over it and I am being silly. I don't mean to bitch and whinge and rant on here about my hubby. I love him with all my heart and soul. Sometimes I just want, no I NEED some help. I have broken out in 'teenage like' pimples due to stress, and not having any time to look after myself. I have gained weight, mostly since the passing of my mother, but I don't have time to exercise. Where is the line of giving up and saying "OK, I am not doing this anymore, I am on strike" and the guilt we all feel as mothers to do the best we can for our families? I just don't know anymore....

Rant over, sorry, but thanks.

My Three Sons - In ONE room!

Well, I know a few of you are interested in how I fit 3 young boys into one bedroom. So I thought I would show you....

Meal Plan 1/10/12 - 7/10/12

My Meal Plan this week....

Monday 1/10 - String Tied Roast Porterhouse, veggies and oven baked chips.

Tuesday 2/10 - Fish (Adults) Fish Fingers (kids) and salad

Wednesday 3/10 - Beef Lasagne with salad/veg

Thursday 4/10 - Veal Schnitzel and French Onion Potato Bake

Friday 5/10 - Beef Stroggonoff with pasta

Saturday 6/10 - Chicken and Vegetable Lasagne and Salad

Sunday 7/10 - Spag Bol and Home made Garlic Bread (using left over rolls from freezer)


BAKING:
- Carrot and walnut cake with cream cheese frosting x 2 (one for the neighbours)
- Apple crumble
- Homemade Sausage rolls (for hubby to take to work).


What is on your menu? Feel free to leave your weekly meal plan in the comment section below. xx