Monday, July 1, 2013

A realisation

Last Friday, Hubby had to go away for work. We didn't find out until 8 pm the night before, and had to be up at 5 am, with the kids, to go to the airport to drop him off. He had been away for a few days before this, and had just gotten home about an hour earlier from that trip, before finding out he was off again. 

The kids were gutted he was off again. But, it is life, you have to work to earn a living and pay for the roof over your head, the food in your belly, and all the other bills associated with living in general, right? Right. 

I explained that to the kids and they understood as much as they could for their little ages. They didn't like it, but understood he absolutely HAD to go. 

So we took him to the airport, dropped him off, and then drove home.

It began before I even left the car park. The screaming, the bullying each other, the hitting! Ugh! Come on, it's too early for this guys! Seriously!

We got home, and started our day, only to have more screaming, hitting, taunting and nagging.

---- Insert sigh here ----

This continued ALL day! By lunchtime, they broke me. I cracked, and I became submissive to their wants. I just didn't care anymore. Anything to keep them quiet and to give my poor ears a break!

Pancakes for lunch covered in chocolate? OK!

Tim tams for afternoon tea? OK!

Me: What do you want for dinner kids? 
Them: ----Maccas!
Me: OK! Lets go get in the car and get it then
Them: ---- I don't want to get in the car....
Me: Well how do i go get it then?
Them: ---- I don't know, can't we stay here?
Me: No, it's not safe for young children to be home alone
Them: ---- Crying, and screaming.....
Me: OK, how about if you come, I'll get you an ice cream too??
Them: ---- YAAAAY!

Hold on.... what the heck happened there?!?!?!

Situations like this have been popping up more and more frequently lately. It has been driving me nuts, then at night I stay up thinking about how much of a horrible mother I am for giving in like that, and what horrible junk they are putting into their mouths. Which, is only fuel for the fire with additives etc. 

Hubby came home Saturday night. Poor Mr 5 was very ill, but we still had to head out at 7.30 pm, to be at the airport by 9 pm to pick him up. He was burning up despite the panadol, and was very tired and cranky, understandably. So I was cuddling him on my lap while waiting for hubby to get to the car. The others however, jumping around, kicking the inside of the car, screaming, and wouldn't settle down for anything. As soon as I saw hubby walking over, they were quiet, and sat patiently for him to arrive...... Frustration overload.

Later that night when we got home, put the kids in bed, and were in bed ourselves. I started crying. I spilled my guts to hubby, and he made me realise that I was being bullied by my own children. 

WOW! That realisation sucked!

I don't know how this happened. I understand that they really miss having Daddy around. I understand they hate being couped up all day because it has been raining a lot. I have tried ALL the rainy day activities I can think off. I have googled, I have pintrest-ed, I have done everything I can think of. But there is nothing quite as good as running off steam in the yard. 

I am not sharing this story as a pity party for myself. I know I dropped the ball this time. I just wanted to share with you all, in case anyone else has, or is, in a similar situation.

I don't know how to fix it. I don't claim to have answers. But sometimes just putting it out there, can lift it off your shoulders. Even if only for a little while. 

I am sure in time, they will settle, the rain will stop, and I will get my sanity back. In the meantime .... is it wine 'o' clock yet? 


1 comment:

  1. I hear ya! I understand the 'manipulation by children' situation. They totally know there's four of them and one of you. This was one heck of a situation and without the means to recharge after hubby's first trip, well, it would happen to anyone. You did the best you could with what you had at that time. Next time you'll be ready for them!