Friday, February 22, 2013

My little Xavier....

My little Xavier, he is struggling with his first year at school. If you follow me on Facebook then you will know he has been going through Separation Anxiety when I drop him off. He screams hits scratches and tries to run from the classroom when I leave. It has been hard, but he is slowly getting better. I take him in early so he and the teacher can play on a special iPad they found for him to use until the bell rings for the other children to go into class, so he can settle without the other kids around. He has been doing really well.

However, it seems to go from one issue to another. Now he is settling in the mornings easily enough, he has been acting out at lunchtime in the playground. I was mortified when I got a phone call yesterday afternoon asking me to come pick him up from school, as he had clawed at another boys face, and drew blood, and he bit another little boys arm. I was shocked and my eyes almost popped out of my head as this is SO out of character for him. This is the 3rd time he has done this at school.  He is a pleasant boy with a heart of gold. He very rarely hurts people and if he does it is usually only his big brother, but even then it is only in a brotherly way. They don't do 'punch on's' or anything. Just sibling scraps.

So, I went to school and had a chat with the guidance counselor. She was very helpful and understanding. She reassured me we will get through this, and he will settle into school eventually. Which I am sure he will.

However, she started to talk to me about why he might be doing these things at school if he has never done this sort or stuff at home. She wants to sit with him next week and do some tests with him, but words like ADHD were being thrown around. Even the words 'special needs' and 'Autism' were thrown in for good measure. I must admit, this freaked me the heck out! This is my little Xavey Baby we are talking about! A beautiful little boy who just wants to be with his mummy.

Now I am not saying I would be fearful or upset if it turned out he did have something a little 'off' with him. If there is anything it would be very slight. I know he will be fine with whatever diagnoses we might eventually get when we take her assessments to a GP and wherever else I am suppose to go.
I don't see this things as problems are anything, but I would like to know if there is something wrong so I can fix it, and learn to teach him the way he needs to be taught in order to make it easier for him.

So now we have started, we are on, what I am sure will be a long road to help my little boy. I don't know how to go about all this, and I am hoping I am wrong with the concerns the councilor and I both have, and this is just a phase or something. But I just wanted to share and get it out there, to get it off my chest as well. There are many mums who I am sure have been in this exact position who get what I am saying. They have survived all the stress and drama, so I will too. Anything to help my little Xavier!

Tiff xx


  1. It sounds like you've got a good school there, at least they are on to the problem and suggesting testing. My son is 8yr and sometimes acts out, but has a lot of problems paying attention in class, etc. His grade 2 teacher said he was WAYY behind, and that repeating a year would be beneficial, but the school 'heads' wouldn't allow it. They want him privately assessed for I guess similar things that your counsellor said about Xavier, thou they didn't actually say it, as they are worried about making medical assumptions when they don't have the qualifications (basically they only worry about any possible legal ramifications if they are wrong) But nobody can help me in the school system, so I have taken him to a specialist, but am still on a waiting list, and still have no answers :( I just get told he isn't 'applying' himself and what am I going to do about it? Hang in there darl, the more you can find out for yourself to ease your mind, the more the school will get on board to help. Good luck.

    1. Hi Tracy, has your son had an eye-test or hearing test recently? If a child has either a vision or hearing problem they are often seen as not applying themselves or paying attention in class. Just something else to consider if only to rule out a vision or hearing problem. Hope you can get some anwers for your son soon too.

  2. Oh Tiff, I certainly feel your pain, we are currently undergoing the same process with our 9 year old, he is either suffering from an anxiety disorder, both sides of our family have had mental health disorders and we have just come through a very traumatic 24 or so months or he has Aspergers. Both diagnoses can have their benefits, in that other people can understand why he is the way he is, but it is also very devastating to think that there is something wrong with our child. And it is also devastating as a mum in knowing that you do all you can to protect and help your child, but when they are at school, you cant be there to protect and help them and have to leave it to others who have so many other children to look after, that your child may unfortunately suffer horrific acts by other children as they simply do not understand why they do what they do or as happened to my boy the first day back this year, knows what sends them into a meltdown and deliberately do it to them.
    Good luck with it all, I hope you can get some answers and begin to work out strategies that will help him.

  3. I went through this with Master 6 last year. The same word were said to me and it turned out was just immature. He started settling down towards the end of the year. So he is repeating prep. Best thing I ever did. Last year I was getting phone calls to pick him up almost everyday because he has hurt a child or broken something this year I am hearing how well he is doing and he is coming home with rewards.