Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Lonely

Well, I just needed to get this off my chest, voice how I am feeling so it doesn't cripple me inside anymore.

I am lonely.

I have moved to a brand new state, and I know zero people. Recently there was a huge blow out with my 'family' that has been coming for years, and so now I have zero family members, and hubby is always working. Like, ALWAYS!

I have my children, of course. But sometimes all I wish for, is someone to invite me over for a coffee and a chat. A grown up chat! Not about child 1 wants a blue cup, but child 2 is already using the blue cup.

I was hoping that when the kids started school, I would be able to blend in to other mums conversations, and make some new friends. But I have found this difficult. I have gone so shy! I mean, I have never been not shy, but I have never been THIS shy. I am struggling. I need adult interaction, I miss my husband, and I miss my mum. She was always there for me to talk to. Now she has gone, there is no one. I have no confidant, I have no vent, hubby doesn't want to hear it after his long days, and I don't blame him, and try not to bother him with it. But it's becoming a plain old fact, that I am lonely. My soul aches for all I have lost. My heart aches for the love of something not there anymore. And my head aches from having to deal with children who are coping with loss and change as well.

This is my rant, and I don't mean to offend anyone, I love each and every one of you who follow me, and takes the time to comment and help me when I need it. But sometimes, a face to face conversation is worth a million likes.

10 comments:

  1. Hey Tiffany,
    I think you are in my area (maybe??) Im Upper Coomera and I have four littlies too!
    We go to a great Music playgroup on Tues mornings 930 to 11 and it is a really great place to meet other mums and kids. The kids sing and dance and play music for half an hour and then its morning tea and free play time. Its $6 for all of us to go (me and 3 kids, one is at school) and morning tea is provided for the kids, followed by yummy homemade cakes and sandwhiches and coffee for the mums while the kids play.
    Its in the old school of arts buiding on Reserve Road if you would love to come along.
    Sandy

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    1. Hi sandy!
      I am near that area! I think a music playgroup sounds wonderful!! My little ones would LOVE it! Thank you so much for this, I will put it in my diary for next week. Do you just show up? Or do you have to book? Thank you xx

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    2. No Just show up.
      It is a really nice morning, I hope you can make it!! Look out for me, I'm the one with the three kiddies out of control. :)
      We do school drop off and head straight over, but it starts at 930am.

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  2. I know how you feel. 12 months after moving towns for hubby's work, I am finally feeling like I am starting to have friends here. I have found that I get as much out of playgroup as my boys do, if there is a playgroup close by, definitely check it out. Our local library also has baby bounce (for 0-3's) and rad n rhyme time (3-5's) on different days which has also been a great way to make acquaintances who have since become friends. And hanging out at the local parks have also been a great help at meeting new people. I did find it very hard at first as even though I have always had quite good self esteem and been very comfortable in my own skin, we moved to this town when i was 4 weeks off having no4 who was an extremely unsettled baby and I had had an extremely difficult pregnancy and so my self esteem was very low, so it was very hard to make the effort to go out and meet new people but I found that just by going to the different activities, even though I never initiated any conversations, people who had seen by there week after week, would come up and talk to me.
    I'm so sorry I'm not closer otherwise I would love to meet up with you face to face. Hang in there and I'm sure you will eventually find someone to hang out with.

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    1. Thank you for the advise Belinda! I will be more patient and keep trying. Thank you for taking the time! xxxx

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  3. I hear you. Oh boy do I hear you. I, sadly, left it too long to do something about it when I should have forced myself to meet new people and now, after years of being in your situation, I am anxious around others so am very isolated.
    Try to involve yourself in some community events so you can meet others, you need it xxx

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    1. Thank you! I dont think its ever too late, baby steps, you will get there, you also need it! You are a beautiful person! remember that hun! xxxx

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  4. I don't interact much with the girls at my playgroup either. A couple I talk too but it hasn't gone any further than there and I've been going for over a year. But each week it's getting better and better.
    I used to go to another one when Ethan was nearly 1 and I was pg with Eli. I ran into a girl from there at kindy the other day and we're going to catch up soon!

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  5. We have moved a lot over the years as well, and I also find it hard to make new friends. I find it especially hard now that the kids are all at school, so I have no playgroups or anything like that to rely on. The parents at my kids schools, all have there own little groups and it took me a long time to break into those groups and make friends. I did do it, but it took lots of volunteering at school, after school activities and having the kids friends over to play and having a quick chat with the parents and pick up time. Hang in there, it will happen. I had to be very persistent!

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